Transformers: Just like watchin' porn

It's like watching porn, you know what to expect. A lot of slam bang, a lot of action, little to no drama. If there is even a hint of plot, it would last two minutes. It is just a pure thrill ride. Brainless action and skin flick.

This is what you will get from Revenge of the Fallen. A lot of action, I mean stacked, over the top explosions, and extended screen time for those masterfully digitized robots. Megan Fox in her eye candy role, and of course Michael Bay out of this world action scenes, think Bad Boys 2 highway scene.

Of course these types of movies should not be critically reviewed and be taken for what it is. It is a mindless action flick. Even if its constructed that way, still it should have a semblance of a coherence or hint of a plot.

Even the attempt at humor is a bit desperate. I think it is aimed at ten year olds, the humping dogs, or the humping robot on Megan Fox (understandable), the hysterical mother who wasn't remotely like that in part 1, or that new Mexican guy who is always terrifyingly screaming like a girl or hugging the next guy to him out of sheer fright are terribly forced and can only illicit Andrew E. levels shrieks.

Overall I would not complain of the robots, the animators did a masterful job. It was only on the execution portion that I am pissed. You setup a new villain, the Fallen, for extended time, only to be ripped by Optimus Prime in under twenty seconds in the final battle. What was that? The only good battle was when Prime died during the battle royal with Megaton and Starscream. In the other sequences, you cannot distinguish who is fighting who, if it's an Autobot or Decepticon or if the US military is even bombing the right guys.

This was a two hour and a half hour action chase filled ride which was slowly tuning into an extended clip of a movie in Gods of War or Final Fantasy. It could have worked if this was concise. If they are going to do a new movie, which will probably 100% occur, I hope they put it in the right hands, let Guillermo del Toro do it, or even Bryan Singer (even if he ruined Superman Returns), or Kevin Smith, he knows comedic dialogues, and we can possibly see some more of Megan Fox's parts. I am just fed up of the over the top, mindless action sequences of Michael Bay. He should be the fallen after this one.